Lawn love

"Is it in?" he cried to the maid.
"No, it ain't, so if you don't mind
Putting it…" said the lass.
"But I do, for, alas,
I like it better in the mud."
© Rethabile Masilo

I have tried to write limericks before, but always found it a tough exercise. Mad Kane put up a prompt and I decided to give it a shot. I had to google the form and jog my memory, and re-read some of my favourite limericks, many of them Isaac Asimov's (hard to find on-line). I do not know who wrote some of the ones I enjoy. Apparently, the form requires a certain amount of lechery, although I've read good, non-lecherous limericks, notably by Mad Kane. I suppose one has to be a master limerick writer to pull that kind of thing off. Here are some of my favourite lecherous limericks. No offence to anyone.

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
And loud was his mirth
For he knew that on earth
There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.

That's a tight one that seems to have everything going for it: rhyme, humour, lechery, and the fact that it's conversational (it doesn't sound forced). I'd be happy to know who wrote it, and give them credit.

There was a young man of Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.

Another good one by I don't know who. If you know, let me know. And please try Mad Kane's prompt, to which I have not adhered fully. And oh, I almost forgot, I've always thought that the reason we have so many bad limericks is because they're delicate, yet look like they're simple to pen.


And they don't have to follow the declared pattern or rhyme-scheme, either. Some are limericky for deliberately breaking that pattern and/or its scheme. Why? Because we've come to expect a certain number of feet, and a certain rhyme scheme, declared in the first two verses. When that is broken, we feel what the writer of the particular limerick meant for us to feel. Here's an example. I wish I knew who had written this one, too:

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He answered, "because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever possibly I can."